A S'mores Party

In early October we hosted a backyard get together for friends. Just a simple s'mores bar and fire pit. It was such a fun night. I strung simple white Christmas tree lights from the fence and swagged them through the oak tree branches and along the garage. I lugged the massively heavy white dresser out of the garage (where it's been a project in the works for a few months), and pushed a few chairs and that trusty old red couch around the fire pit. I loved using the side yard as the setting. Most of our parties are on or around our patio, which I love, but it was fun using a different space in the yard. 

 The white dresser was the perfect piece for serving the s'mores fixins. I pulled out the drawers and put the plates, wet wipes (for sticky fingers) and juice boxes in them. 

We huddled around the fire, toasted marshmallows, protected toddlers from accidentally falling in, and the kids played until well after dark while the adults got to catch up. It was a simple, super easy get together and ended up being a special night. I love hosting and long for warmer days and nights now that cold, winter weather is here.

oh, hello there!

I haven't forgotten about this space. It feels like too many memories are housed here to let it fade into the dark void of the internet. So today I'm back, and today I vow to make something more of this space. To not let it fade away, but to continue to document and store memories here.

I babysat today for two little boys who are good friends with my boys. They're a little bit older than my boys which makes them easy company. While they were inside taking a break from the sun and a lively game of kickball, the oldest boy went to the armoire and pulled out the photo books. We own a total of three photo books. I've created one for each of the last two summers, and Patrick gave me one for my 30th birthday. I watched over his shoulder as he flipped through the pages and answered his occasional questions. My boys grew interested too in these books that had been only collecting dust. It reminded me that memories are special and interesting and though time passes, the stories are still captivating and fresh. My desire was renewed to document memories and tuck them away as stories I can tell to my boys again and again as they grow older.

I suppose that's what brings me here. The desire to document memories, but also the desire to glean joy from them. The simple, ordinary pictures and stories that in the end tell the story of our lives. I've been in this mental holding pattern of sorts for a while now. Waiting until this or that happens and then I'll start writing because then I'll have a story to tell. But what I really want is to tell the story of today, the story of the mundane and the ordinary.  To look back and to see the threads that have all been stitched together to create the story of something more.

For now that looks pretty ordinary and very simple. It's long summer days, popsicles from the big freezer in the garage, kickball games with the neighborhood kids, walks with the dog, washing the dishes, tucking in to bed at night, reading a chapter or two from the book I can't put down, spreading on sunscreen, talking every day about choosing respectful words and all of the ordinary stuff other mama's are doing every day. None of it seems special or grand and none of it really is. But as my mom always reminds me, "you won't pass this way again". And so I choose to stop and remember my passing this way now.

Our summer so far, in pictures:

hello October

It's a rainy, gloomy Halloween day and it occurred to me that tomorrow is the first day of November. I love the thought of a fire in our fireplace, the sound of crackling wood and cozy evenings together. I don't love the cold or the many hours of darkness ahead. But I do love fall and cozy and the holidays, so I'm going to look forward to those parts of November.

I love October and the start of fall. This month was FULL and was so good. We enjoyed the typical start of fall seasonal things like Friday night football and pumpkin spice lattes and also all of the celebrations that make October a special month for us. William turned six this month and we celebrated him starting with family night at Steak-n-Shake (his pick) and moonlight bowling and then a superhero/animal party with our extended family and ending with a kindergarten friend party. We visited the apple orchard with Dan and Sara and the cousins and my mom and soaked in a perfect, sunny fall day. I visited Holly with Rachel in Chicago and we bargain shopped at the Goodwill and celebrated my birthday together. Also, Patrick took me to see Jim Gaffigan (look him up on Netflix, you will be glad you did) and we laughed so hard and loved our night out on the town.

October was good to us. It was fall and slowing down and celebrating. I've got my pumpkin candle burning and I'm looking forward to the cozy month of November ahead.

my thoughts on kindergarten homework

In general, I'm not a fan of homework for small children. I think that six and a half hours in school is enough time for their little minds and bodies every day. I think that the hours outside of school are important too. Important for things like being outside and running freely, building giant forts with blankets, setting the table and eating together as a family, having friends come to play and showing kindness, being comforted when hurt and showing empathy to friends when they are hurt, getting to know adults that are older and learning to be hospitable, making pancakes and banana bread and ice-cream sundaes. 

 If you'd asked me a few years ago, I think I would have told you differently. That grades are very important to me and learning in school and working hard there and doing well and reflecting that on a report card and with 100% on a spelling test are most important. Those are very good things, but now that I have children who are in school, I see it a little bit differently. 

 I want our boys to work hard and to try their very best at whatever it is they are doing, but I don't think straight A's are the most important thing or even the best measure of success in school. I have loved how proud of himself Henry is when he gets all of his spelling words correct or his surprise at knowing a multiplication problem. I love that he is learning and I think it's so important, there is so much to learn. I would love him just as much if he tried and tried but missed every spelling word and I'd be proud of him for trying. I worry that giving too much praise for scoring well will rob them of the joy of learning. And they have such a zeal for learning right now. Both of them ask questions, at least a dozen a day, about how things work and why and what I think about it all. I think I respond, "You know, I'm really not sure" most of the time because they are things that I have stopped wondering about. But they are interesting and fascinating and I love that they are so interested in learning about them.

 I spent some time with William this weekend at our little table working through a small stack of worksheets; work he missed when we were in Colorado last week. All of my resolve about small children and homework, especially kindergartners, melted away when I saw how absolutely proud of himself he was while he was getting his work done. He can put objects in order from smallest to biggest with the best of them. He can sure count the stairs in our house. Draw a picture of his teacher? Write his name three times? Definitely. They are small tasks that give him so much confidence in his abilities and skills. And this little boy's handwriting is really improving because you know what? He is taking his homework very seriously. He wants to do well, because it makes him feel happy and confident and proud. 

I am guilty for rewarding grades (paying cash for a "good" report card) and buying ice-cream after 5 perfect spelling tests in a row. I love celebrating my boys accomplishments with them. But I feel like I've put all of the emphasis on their success on their grades when really in my heart that's not the most important thing to me.

Most important to me is that my boys are kind to their classmates. That they make courageous choices. It's more important to me that we raise children who care about people, who are compassionate and who are empathetic toward the needs of other people. I want them to love Jesus. It's important to me that they are kind to the little boy at lunch who is quiet and has no one to sit by, that they pick the little girl to be on their kickball team at recess even though she runs slow, that they follow directions are are respectful to the substitute teacher. They may not always be the ones picking or choosing where to sit and my mother's heart so much wants other children to be kind to them too. I think kindness matters. 

 And so, I will continue to praise kindergarten homework and the little boy with dimpled hands working so hard on it. I will continue to help Henry study second grade spelling words and share in his joy when he gets them all correct. I'm not sure that I'll emphasize rewards for "good" grades but of course, we'll celebrate because it feels good to work hard and do well. I'll set them free to play and explore when the school turns them loose at 3:15. I'll take chances to praise kindness and courage and I'll really celebrate those victories with them. I'll google it if I don't know the answer to one of the dozen questions about the way things work that they ask me every day. I'll encourage learning and growing and accomplishments and caring about others. All of it's important, and we'll do it together.

Our week in Colorado

We just got home on Wednesday from a week in Colorado. It was mountains, it was high altitudes and feeling dizzy, it was peanut butter and jelly in hotel rooms, it was hiking and rafting and seeing deer, bighorn sheep, elk and a black bear, it was seeing family and playing with cousins, it was swimming in hotel pools, warm summer weather and continental breakfasts and bad coffee.  It was an adventure. It was exactly what our little family needed.

Rocky Mountain National Park

Henry at Seven Falls. This was something we stumbled upon on our first morning while we were killing time before white water rafting. We were so happy that we found it. It was really quiet and serene and our first glimpse of the beautiful mountains and views.

The boys at the summit of Mt Cutler. 7,200 feet elevation. It was really pretty and we had views of Seven Falls from the opposite side. It turns out I've developed a severe adult onset fear of heights. I was a complete nervous nelly when the boys were near the edges of these cliffs. My entire insides and the bottom of my feet just felt tingly even thinking of them getting too close. Old lady right here.

We took a train to the top of Pike's Peak one morning. They call it the cog railway. It was freezing cold up there. We ate fresh donuts, and drank hot chocolate. Everyone we talked to said we had to get the donuts from the top. They are world famous, high altitude donuts. They were fine, but I was cold and dizzy from the altitude. 

Little boy, big world. William at Mt Cutler. He loved getting right up to the edge; the closer the better.

We went whitewater rafting on our first day there. It was so much fun and I wish I had more pictures to show of our time on the Arkansas river. We went on the most mild, family friendly rapids and no one fell out! The boys both got to paddle and also swam in the (icy-cold) river. They absolutely loved it. I'm glad our first time was so mild and happy -- I'm sure they will both want to go again. 

This tree is called a Ponderosa Pine. They have them all over Colorado. If you scratch the bark it smells like butterscotch. They have a super thick bark that is said to make them highly resistant to low-intensity fires.

Some deer grazing in a parking lot. well, hello there!

 Patrick in front of Long's Peak, alt 14, 259 feet. The day after their climb. It's the one in the far background with the flat top. 

 Here's a little bit of information about the Keyhole route, that they took on their hike. I'm glad I didn't google this before the hike: "In the summertime, when conditions allow, thousands climb to Longs' summit via the Keyhole Route. The Keyhole Route is not a hike. It is a climb that crosses enormous sheer vertical rock faces, often with falling rocks, requiring scrambling, where an unroped fall would likely be fatal. The route has narrow ledges, loose rock, and steep cliffs."

We spent our last two nights in downtown Denver. I really liked where we stayed in the city. 

At the Rockies game on our last night. Clayton drove from Boulder to meet us there. 

Feeling the fresh mountain air. It smelled so clean and pure and piney. 

It was so much fun to squeeze a little bit more out of summer and swim in this outdoor pool in Boulder. The boys loved having their cousins, Haydn and Clayton there to do tricks with too.

On Saturday when we arrived in Boulder, Clayton and his roommate took us here to rock climb. I started out thinking I was just an observer, "ooh that is neat, that looks scary", etc. I ended up feeling a little pressure to try it. But you know what? I was really glad I did! I didn't make it to the top, but it was so much fun and really felt totally safe being all harnessed in. Patrick's nephew, Clayton, is super impressive to watch. And Patrick made it to the top, by the way.

We went to the Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs one evening. It was beautiful and there were lots of deer out grazing.

The beach still very much has my heart, but these Colorado mountains sure won me over. It was beautiful and I loved that every day brought a new adventure. I also tend to like sharing a hotel room as a family and lounging on the king bed together. It was so good to have a week of togetherness, especially after the start of school this year and already missing my time with the boys so much.