Where on earth?

I was just getting ready to start a post about Henry's last day of preschool on May 21st. I realized that I am ridiculously far behind as we are well beyond that date of May and now into September and now we're starting school again. I wish I had some great excuse for the quasi-abandonment of my blog. Just recently my dad asked me if I stopped blogging in exchange for Facebook. I felt horrified! (ha ha) No, of course I haven't stopped blogging. Truthfully, in my head the blog posts are like a running ticker tape, always being imagined (some even written) but never executed. I can see why it looks like I've quit. But I haven't. If you're wondering where on earth I've been,
I'm still here!
There are so many things on my blog to-do list. I'll spare you the long list. But I will be playing catch up. Cliche as it is, and as much as I say it, time really does pass us by so quickly. I want this blog to serve as my reminder about the sweet times (and maybe some not so sweet ones) with my boys and our family. It's really my virtual scrapbook, full of memories of days that have passed. Ones that we can't get back but we can remember with fondness. Already the toddler years of Henry and the newborn months of William have faded in my memory and are pretty blurred if there at all. But I have this, as a way to keep track of special times together and pictures that tell me the story of them.

Part of my absence from here has been a swirling whirlwind of life and commotion going on around me. I haven't been a great communicator via this or the phone or email really for the past few weeks or even months. We've decided to put our house on the market so that we can pursue future plans for our family; so 411 Leland is for sale. I say that in one sentence, one very loaded sentence. One sentence of thoughts that seems so simple that really monopolizes most of my other thoughts and emotions, at least at the moment. I don't like change. I don't like leaving familiarity. I'm scared to death. But clinging to this: God has a plan.

I've also been struggling with perfectionism, or the lack thereof. Of course I'm not perfect and of course I know this. But I still feel the need to comb through every picture I want to post or post I want to write with the finest tooth comb I can find. It's silly, I even tell myself this. But I still feel like I must. So, that process obviously takes me more time, hence less blog posts.

Too much self-disclosure for one blog post? I think maybe! You'll probably all stop reading just in time for my big comeback. (ha ha ha) I say all of that to say that I'm still here. Not tonight, but soon...more posts to come.