open spaces

Yesterday we had a full day of

o p e n

s p a c e s.

Wide open spaces. And tractors. And trucks. And forklifts. And mowers.
oh my.














Patrick's dad, farmer David, called me early yesterday morning and invited Henry to come ride on his tractor. Since he has many of them, I will refer to this one as his honkin' tractor (the-very-technical-farmer-term). He told me it would be his last day cultivating with his honkin' tractor. This particular tractor is special not only because of its size, but also because it has a "buddy seat" for Henry so he can safely ride along. As far as tractors go, William likes to look, but not touch and absolutely not ride.
Knowing that Henry would love to spend the morning farming with his grandpa coupled with the promise of a beautiful day outdoors, I accepted his offer and made plans to meet him near a field in the country. I then had the task of getting myself and both boys dressed and ready in less than thirty minutes. I'm slightly embarrassed to admit that after nineteen months with two children, it is still an exhausting undertaking to get ready and out the door. But we made it.
We met farmer David and Henry anxiously jumped out of the van and ran to meet him. I'm learning that unfortunately life on the farm is just like life in the city; pretty unpredictable. Honkin' tractor did not start.
Our morning plans quickly turned into a full day of farm work. There were honkin' tractors' batteries to charge, fields to finish, roads to cross, mower blades to sharpen, and forklifts to drive. At one point I said to Henry, "you are sure working hard" and he looked at me like, DUH, and said, "yeah, I'm a farmer". Oh, of course. How could I forget?
It was a perfect day.
Both boys loved being with their grandpa and working on his farm. There is something so peaceful and calm about the quiet of the country. And something so beautiful about the rolling fields and open spaces. Right now the crops are just starting to come up and the dark earth is covered with a blanket of seemingly endless green. It's beautiful.

{please forgive me for posting some of these pictures in the large format. I know it's huge, I know it's honkin', I know it's obnoxious. I just really wanted to try it. please forgive me!}

There's something special about good friends.
I think this group of friends is really something special.
Charlie is fun. He's great at baseball and his energy is contagious.
When they're together Henry and Charlie don't stop.
And William adores Charlie and tries so hard to keep up.
Plus, when they're together they sound like a group of
distinguished retired gentlemen.

Oliver is the newest addition to the bunch.

isn't he darling?
Love the thick, black, curly hair.
William is fascinated with Oliver. He stares at his pacifier.
He longs for his pacifier.
And if it falls out he is happy to retrieve it...fast!

102.5 : a record high for June

Monday, the first of June
6:00 a.m. the temperature, a record breaking 101.5
in Henry's armpit that is.
A pretty full day of popsicles, juice and
cuddling on the couch.


Tuesday,
things are looking up.
fever free,
summer's here,
sprinklers out,
water's in
the pool.

we'll always love you so

At Montessori there was a tradition that when a child left for kindergarten all of the children would sit in a circle and sing this song as the future kindergartner walked around the circle giving hugs:

goodbye (child's name),
goodbye _________,
goodbye _________,
we're sad to see you go.

goodbye _______,
goodbye _______,
goodbye _______,
we'll always love you so.

Tonight at dinner I sang this song as we bid farewell to William's highchair. Not to William, but to his highchair. I know it seems really silly; I mean, goodbye highchair?

A few months ago at Gabe's birthday party a friend of mine and Sara's gave us each a copy of a childrens book called Let me Hold you Longer by Karen Kingsbury. She, a mother herself, warned us that it's a tearjerker, but a worthwhile read for every mom. I opened the book on our way home from Rockford that day and by the third paragraph of the intro I was in tears, as Val had predicted. The book is a beautiful story about a mother watching her little boy grow up from a baby into adulthood. Rather than focusing on all of his "firsts" she is realizing his "lasts". Last bottle, last midday nap, last colored picture made, last cuddle and tuck in at night, last piano lesson, and on and on until the last hug and hurried kiss before college. In her intro she writes:

And that's when it hit me. We spend our children's days celebrating their firsts. First step, first tooth, first words. First day of kindergarten, first homecoming dance, first time behind the wheel. But somehow, along the way, we miss their lasts.
{to read the complete introduction, along with more about the book, see Sara's well written blog post} **tissues in hand**

Her words are so true for me. I find myself excitedly looking forward to the future with the boys and cheering them along as they conquer new feats and daring accomplishments. And aren't we as parents supposed to be thrilled when our baby sleeps through the night? Or transitions from bottle to cup like such a big boy? I suppose so, but in doing so we are closing a chapter of their infancy. When my boys slept through the night for the first time, the night before that was my last time waking up with them, alone in the middle of the night and sharing those precious moments of closeness while I rocked and fed them. As much as I greet meeting milestones with excitement, there's always a last that comes before that monumental first. And so, the book has been a huge reminder to me to hang on just a little bit longer to each moment. Most of them we're really never aware of until they pass. I've realized so many lasts have occurred already in my boys' lives and I've been so busy looking forward that I didn't remember to hang on just a little bit longer.

Today at lunch I decided I was ready to be done cleaning William's highchair and all of its nooks and crannies. He's big enough to sit in a booster seat so I announced to Patrick that William had his last meal in his highchair and would be joining us like a big boy at dinner. Then it struck me. His last time in his highchair. A chapter closed in his babyhood. He is becoming a big boy and joining us at the table. I quickly recanted and decided dinner would be his last meal in his highchair. I needed to make this last a bigger deal. Pictures, I decided; his last highchair meal deserved pictures.

So tonight at dinner I sang the song. William even joined in and waved while I was singing. Totally corny, I really know. But he's already becoming such a big boy. And I know it goes so fast.

photoshop, I really love you

My newest and most favorite thing to do is play with Photoshop. So.Much. FUN.

A few weeks ago while my Dad and Sandi were here visiting, Sandi (a photoshop master extraordinaire) taught me some basics while the boys were napping. It was then, watching her, that I realized you really can "photoshop" someone into or out of a picture. She even turned some people in the background of a beach picture of the boys into sand so they were gone and seemingly only beach remained. Wow. I feel like it will take me decades before I'm able to turn people into sand, but in the mean time I have been having lots of fun doing some basics.

Last night Patrick taught me how to create a collage. I wasn't sure if I had the hang of it, but left on my own today, I made this one of Henry at the park after his last day of school.
The only problem is that I need to figure out how to make it bigger and not just the size that blogger permits. And ideas? Sandi?! help!

2-wheels

The training wheels are off!

He might as well be driving his first car; Henry feels so grown up now that he has gone from 4-wheels to 2. He is so excited about this little green bike! We're so excited for him, too.

April 15, 2009 : the day the training wheels came off.

Somehow the training wheels were off balance so they were wearing unevenly. When Patrick tried to adjust them, he realized that one wheel was a lot smaller than the other and thought it would be best to take them off. Henry has been eyeing big boys and girls with big kid bikes without training wheels and yearning for the day he would join their ranks. After a few running starts, he caught on and could ride on our driveway back and forth from the garage to the house. He really wanted to learn to "push off" on his own so he didn't need Patrick and I to run with him to get him started. We took him to the elementary school parking lot near our house one evening and he learned to do it. That made him a completely independent rider! Now he's able to go on bike rides through our neighborhood. It's so much fun.

There's really a lot to be said about children and their lack of fear and willingness to try new things. It's inspiring.

aren't you proud?

A few weeks ago, we spent the weekend in St. Louis with Patrick's family to celebrate his nephew's 16th birthday. We decided to try to find a good deal on a hotel near their house so we could take the boys swimming. Patrick and his brother Matt found a great deal and both of our families stayed at the same hotel, in rooms next door to each other. (With a fun door in between that the boys enjoyed passing through at early hours in the morning!)

Henry was so excited to swim and after a few fearful first minutes, he swam around on his own wearing his fish floaties and loved every minute of it. William also liked the water, but mostly wanted to get out and jump back in. Very scary. I'm nervous that he is just like is brother.

As a side note, the pool opened at 6:00 a.m. 6 am? We thought, who would swim at that ridiculously early hour? The answer?

Us.

Henry was on to the 6:00 opening time and as soon as he woke up, he started disrobing and putting on his swimming attire. So at 6:20 AM, we strolled through the doors and began our morning swim.

Fast forward to my conversation with Henry Sunday night. We're home and I'm tucking him in.

Me: praying (thanked God for the great weekend and the chance we had to swim in St.Louis)
Henry: Aren't you so proud of me mommy?
Me: I sure am, Henry!
Henry: I swam in that big pool all by myself and I didn't even drain.
Me: suppressing laughter

Drain = drown

Bright sunshiney day

Weekday mornings can be hectic. Especially the mornings that Henry has preschool. We've had the same routine since September and one would think I'd have things down pat. If you come to our house on a school day around 8:30, you will see for yourself that I clearly don't. We're always rushing around. There's breakfast that has to be had, and a healthy one too. It's these boys that won't settle for just cereal and toast. For Henry it has to include something hot that he can drown in syrup along with eggs and bacon, please, on a good day. William does love cereal but can also put away some bananas, eggs and sausages. Yes they're choosy on their breakfast meats and they both prefer different ones. After breakfast is done and dishes cleaned up, teeth need to be brushed and clothes put on.

This was one hurried morning the boys and I had a few weeks ago. William was running around halfway through the clothing completion and Henry finding other things to do, per usual, rather than get dressed and ready.

We were rushed and I was in a hurry to make sure Henry made it to school on time. But the boys were just boys. Happy children concerned only with the here and now. This scene is so usual at our house. Me in a hurry and rushing them so we can make it places on time, and them just taking their time finding endless things to distract them. Sometimes I think God must laugh at the scene knowing at times that my patience is being tried and tested. Usually I don't think to take out my camera because I'm too hurried, of course. But this day I did.

And I'm glad I did.

Here's my two sweet boys being, well,

kids.

Bono and his sidekick.

Simply bubbles

It sounds cliche I've heard it so many times, but it really is the simple things that mean the most. Making enormous bubbles in the backyard isn't something you have to plan for in advance, it's just a dip of the wand into the soapy solution really. But the fun that ensues after that dip; that's the real magic.

Simple. Easy. Fun.

I love the sound of the boys' laughter and watching them chase the bubbles, trying to catch just one before it pops, watching Henry fall into the bushes he doesn't see because his eyes are fixed on that bubble and William gasp as a bigger bubble than the one before glubs out of the wand. During times like that, doing simple sorts of things, my heart feels really full. Swollen almost with joy and gratitude for these two precious boys and the days I get to spend with them.

Lately I've had several swollen heart moments. Hearing the boys giggle together while I'm washing the dishes, pushing them in the super heavy double stroller while the warm sun beats down, sidewalk chalking the driveway. I try to linger on those moments for an extra long time because there are usually twice as many not so sweet times. Crying baby while I'm washing the dishes, Henry in time-out, whining 3-year old in time-out, crabby baby while I'm making dinner, rain keeping us inside, fighting over sidewalk chalk, tantrum having baby coming inside. The list goes on. There are certainly times I blame my mothering but I also realize that this is motherhood. There are going to be hard days. But there are also going to be simple moments of sweetness mixed in there with them.

Bubbles. A break and moment of sweetness. I don't think my boys have ever cried while we were blowing bubbles. (Now I'm thinking I should have a bottle in every room of the house?!)

timeless

I stumbled upon this video in the archives and it still makes me laugh.

A timeless video.

Classic Henry.

2007, Henry was barely two and I was pregnant with William. Sometimes it's hard to remember such a little Henry and our life without little William (and without our not-so-little mini-van).

Enjoy!

April = snoozefest

Wow, one post in April.

That's really bad. This blog has been, well, admittedly a snoozefest.

Sorry to those of you who read this blog. Most of you probably gave up checking weeks ago. I've been feeling very uninspired. And somewhat stressed out about blogging. Unnecessarily stressed out. But stressed out nonetheless.

I have some catching up to do and I'm feeling more inspired. Be it the spring sun and warmer temps, the greening of the grass and blossoms on the trees or just the reflective time spent away from this thing; I'm ready to get back to it.

I hear William stirring in his crib, so this post won't be my big comeback.

But one is on the way.