my thoughts on kindergarten homework

In general, I'm not a fan of homework for small children. I think that six and a half hours in school is enough time for their little minds and bodies every day. I think that the hours outside of school are important too. Important for things like being outside and running freely, building giant forts with blankets, setting the table and eating together as a family, having friends come to play and showing kindness, being comforted when hurt and showing empathy to friends when they are hurt, getting to know adults that are older and learning to be hospitable, making pancakes and banana bread and ice-cream sundaes. 

 If you'd asked me a few years ago, I think I would have told you differently. That grades are very important to me and learning in school and working hard there and doing well and reflecting that on a report card and with 100% on a spelling test are most important. Those are very good things, but now that I have children who are in school, I see it a little bit differently. 

 I want our boys to work hard and to try their very best at whatever it is they are doing, but I don't think straight A's are the most important thing or even the best measure of success in school. I have loved how proud of himself Henry is when he gets all of his spelling words correct or his surprise at knowing a multiplication problem. I love that he is learning and I think it's so important, there is so much to learn. I would love him just as much if he tried and tried but missed every spelling word and I'd be proud of him for trying. I worry that giving too much praise for scoring well will rob them of the joy of learning. And they have such a zeal for learning right now. Both of them ask questions, at least a dozen a day, about how things work and why and what I think about it all. I think I respond, "You know, I'm really not sure" most of the time because they are things that I have stopped wondering about. But they are interesting and fascinating and I love that they are so interested in learning about them.

 I spent some time with William this weekend at our little table working through a small stack of worksheets; work he missed when we were in Colorado last week. All of my resolve about small children and homework, especially kindergartners, melted away when I saw how absolutely proud of himself he was while he was getting his work done. He can put objects in order from smallest to biggest with the best of them. He can sure count the stairs in our house. Draw a picture of his teacher? Write his name three times? Definitely. They are small tasks that give him so much confidence in his abilities and skills. And this little boy's handwriting is really improving because you know what? He is taking his homework very seriously. He wants to do well, because it makes him feel happy and confident and proud. 

I am guilty for rewarding grades (paying cash for a "good" report card) and buying ice-cream after 5 perfect spelling tests in a row. I love celebrating my boys accomplishments with them. But I feel like I've put all of the emphasis on their success on their grades when really in my heart that's not the most important thing to me.

Most important to me is that my boys are kind to their classmates. That they make courageous choices. It's more important to me that we raise children who care about people, who are compassionate and who are empathetic toward the needs of other people. I want them to love Jesus. It's important to me that they are kind to the little boy at lunch who is quiet and has no one to sit by, that they pick the little girl to be on their kickball team at recess even though she runs slow, that they follow directions are are respectful to the substitute teacher. They may not always be the ones picking or choosing where to sit and my mother's heart so much wants other children to be kind to them too. I think kindness matters. 

 And so, I will continue to praise kindergarten homework and the little boy with dimpled hands working so hard on it. I will continue to help Henry study second grade spelling words and share in his joy when he gets them all correct. I'm not sure that I'll emphasize rewards for "good" grades but of course, we'll celebrate because it feels good to work hard and do well. I'll set them free to play and explore when the school turns them loose at 3:15. I'll take chances to praise kindness and courage and I'll really celebrate those victories with them. I'll google it if I don't know the answer to one of the dozen questions about the way things work that they ask me every day. I'll encourage learning and growing and accomplishments and caring about others. All of it's important, and we'll do it together.